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The moment I saw Remi's shelter photo, it was love at first sight.

I spent about 2 seconds trying to talk myself out of getting a THIRD dog, and then reasoned since Orian was half the size of Jake, and Remi would be half the size of Jake, it evened out.

He was 11, having spent his whole life with one family (and other dogs) only to be left at the shelter, heartbroken and shaking. Jake, who had the same back story, had just died at 11 and I would have given anything for more time.

From the day Remi came home, I was on heightened awareness that my time would be short with him, and what a gift that was. In the end, from the day he came home and I promised him he would never be left behind again, to his last day in my arms, we had 1210 days, which was more than I expected when I brought him home and so much less than I wanted. Forever wouldn't have been long enough.

After 3 years, 3 months, and 23 days, on Nick's 33rd birthday, my third dog, at 33 pounds, took his last breath as I held him. So it seems fitting after 33 days of grief, I (start to) share my precious loss here.

The general rule of shelter pets is three days before they begin to understand their new place, three weeks to reach the next "settle" point of getting situated, and three months before it became really home. Remi's first night was his unsure period, waiting near the front door, panting, and a bit confused.

But after that night, Remi seemed to blast through that timeline within the first week.

On his first walk, the first morning, the pack felt complete with his presence.

His smile on our first walk

very quickly I learned the Remi dance that would happen as I got ready to throw a tennis ball

and very quickly he decided his place was going to be right up in my chair with me

He became my constant at my side buddy wherever we were

Aidan wouldn't warm up to Orian by himself, but with Remi as his wingman,

he'd sometimes join in

His first vet visit and cone of shame

Christmas 2022

2023

one of his favorite things was to shove his head up under pillows

and burrow himself into a little Remi pillow fort

Remi never had a cat in the home, but he was very interested in Corinne's (our next door neighbor's) He got to meet them through the door as we sat next door during the one chaotic day of showing the house for sale.

our very last walk in Highlands Ranch

and our last photo in the house on moving day

heading to our new home in Loveland

and heading out for our first walks the next morning

Long before I even knew we'd be moving, I had set up a trip that ended up being the next weekend after the move. That week we moved in was high stress with a bunch of people coming in and out to fix up things and Aidan and Orian getting snippy with each other and Remi trying to get in the middle of things. When I was gone for two days, I came back to him nearly immobilized from a back strain. Luckily he was able to bounce back with good meds and some laser therapy. This one really scared me.

But he was back to normal the same week

our first summer, just a tiny smattering of sunflowers showed up

my little co-pilot

2024

Remi's Christmas present

2025

two summers later, those sunflowers spread just a bit

post surgery Remi medicine

Remi's last snow

Heading out to Texas for Christmas, he was already having trouble but I was hoping it was arthritis related

by the time we got back home, it was clear we needed to get to the vet. I was still hoping we just needed pain meds for arthritis.

see the hump in his back?

at the vet he seemed to perk up with a microdose of ketamine and some pain meds and his vet seemed to think it was arthritis pain as well. She sent us home with meds and sent out his bloodwork.

But the next day she called with worse news. The blood sample came back showing super high toxins, meaning his kidneys were not working. I hated leaving him for fluids in the hopes we could buy him more time. I went to visit him while he was stuck there getting a sort of dialysis.

I brought him home that night with the plans to bring him back for another round the next morning. But that night it was so clear how tired, how much pain, and how little time we had left.

When he got up in the middle of the night needing to go outside, I had to carry him as he was falling over, unable to judge a step to get into the sunroom.

Every night, our midnight outing meant all three dogs ran outside to do their business and Remi was always the last to come in. Aidan and Orian would run on past and go wherever they liked to lay back down, but little Remi was my gentleman escort. He would step inside, wait for me to close the door, and then escort me back to bed, a few steps ahead, pausing to make sure I was behind him, especially as he lost his hearing. He would stop at the end of the bed and wait for me to pick him up and place him in his spot beside him. I miss that so much.

As I carried him this time, I knew I wasn't leaving him at the vet all day. I was keeping him home in his favorite spots and loving him one last day.

When we returned to the vet in when they opened to get his catheter in his leg removed to tell them it was over, they supported my decision as he was clearly deteriorating. Then they gently helped him into the back room away from me, and my phone alerted to his air tag, and nearly broke me.

But when he came back out, he was so relived we were going home and not staying there.

He would only eat chicken by this point, so I let him chow down on a whole chicken breast that morning, as long as he had an appetite.

Then I helped him his stairs to my footrest and he settled in so heavily and happily. He was still having trouble walking and by the afternoon stopped eating. His shivers from the pain kept going despite the pain meds.