I have taken to the new measure of time since surgery, catching myself saying, exasperated, "But it's been a month!" when I'm hurting or tired, since every time I'd say "It's been two weeks!" I was setting the hearer up to be able to say, exactly! which just doubled the frustration. So I've latched on to the "one month" phrase this week, as if the wording will somehow change everything and I'll wake up whole and normal. (Newsflash: It's not working.)
It is absolutely gorgeous today. We'll be climbing into the 80°s for the first time, the sun is brilliant, the skies that unmatchable Colorado blue, and what normal-me would be doing is driving into the mountains to hike and take pictures and walk the dogs in the cool morning air, maybe have a picnic with the kids for mothers day, or work out in the yard. Current me slept until almost 9:00, woke up with a sharp pain near that left hip, and had trouble getting out of bed. But it's been a month!
This is the weekend to pull out the summer clothes that have been packed away since early October, stash all the long sleeves and jackets and heavy clothes (well, most all. You can't trust Colorado May not to snow) and enjoy all that leftover closet space that your thin things leave you. Thin things. Yeah. I opened the jeans drawer exactly once this past week, looked longingly and lovingly at them, sighed, and closed it back and pulled on the yoga pants. I know my body and I know there is still no way in heck I'm going to comfortably wear my jeans right now. Or ever, maybe, I catch myself thinking, when I look at the still swollen spots before climbing into the shower and bemoan it all. I'm almost ten pounds lighter than pre-surgery and can't fit into my jeans. And it been a month.
It is absolutely gorgeous today. We'll be climbing into the 80°s for the first time, the sun is brilliant, the skies that unmatchable Colorado blue, and what normal-me would be doing is driving into the mountains to hike and take pictures and walk the dogs in the cool morning air, maybe have a picnic with the kids for mothers day, or work out in the yard. Current me slept until almost 9:00, woke up with a sharp pain near that left hip, and had trouble getting out of bed. But it's been a month!
This is the weekend to pull out the summer clothes that have been packed away since early October, stash all the long sleeves and jackets and heavy clothes (well, most all. You can't trust Colorado May not to snow) and enjoy all that leftover closet space that your thin things leave you. Thin things. Yeah. I opened the jeans drawer exactly once this past week, looked longingly and lovingly at them, sighed, and closed it back and pulled on the yoga pants. I know my body and I know there is still no way in heck I'm going to comfortably wear my jeans right now. Or ever, maybe, I catch myself thinking, when I look at the still swollen spots before climbing into the shower and bemoan it all. I'm almost ten pounds lighter than pre-surgery and can't fit into my jeans. And it been a month.
0 comments:
Post a Comment