Amber was at my house this morning at 6:00 a.m. so we could head over to Red Rock's "Yoga on the Rocks" practice that started at 7:00
I had done this one time, four summers ago, by myself. That was the 2013 summer of Red Rocks boot camp, when I royally screwed up my hip, which took all of 2014 to diagnose, and 2015 to surgically correct and rehab.
I have no excuse for 2016.
But here we were. Summer 2017, more out of shape than in, still searching for that "switch" to flip so I'd be motivated to move more every.single.day, which is one of those fascinating phenomena I've participated in and observed and kind of want to study.
You know, when you're in "the zone" of regularly working out, you have to STAY THERE. I know so many people who are seemingly obsessed with never missing their workouts, because getting knocked off track so often results in that backslide. Injury, vacations, life shifts. They happen. And suddenly, instead of coasting inside the East Australian Current, like Crush in Finding Nemo, you're dog paddling in mud trying to find your way back to those brain chemicals that keep you motivated and going and healthier and happier.
Duuuuude. I still haven't found my EAC current since the injury.
And worse, there've been long stretches where I've completely stopped trying.
But somehow I always dog paddle myself back around to "just keep swimming" advice. The morning walks at dawn are second nature. But I know I have to move more to turn this ship around.
(Dang, the sea stuff is clearly working on my subconscious today.)
I had asked Amber back in April if she might want to go with me to one of this summer's YotR and we randomly chose June 10, bought our tickets, and just added it to our calendars.
It wasn't until earlier this week that I started thinking about the typical heavier girl stuff.
Doing yoga in my loft with Adrienne on the youtubes was fine.
But dang.
Why had I thought signing up for this now sold-out session with 2500 yoga people was going to be fun? Who doesn't love Red Rocks in the morning? But Red Rocks in the morning surrounded by all the skinny flexibendy Colorado yogis? Crap.
I was a thick girl in 2013, but more of a maple-trunk then, than my oak-trunk now. You reach for all the body positivity you can muster and remind yourself of all the things you say you know: Noone will care. They will be in their own practice. Anyone who does care isn't worth worrying about. Etc, etc.
And still.
I made sure to find my newest pair of yoga leggings so the fat girl problems of those little pills that show up from thigh rub aren't yet present. And a really long cami for all the bending because heaven help any white soft belly or back skin be seen! Then I put on my newest tank that came in the mail this week (my artist daughter's blue owl design) over the super long (black, duh) cami, then layer that with my super light jacket, because, you know . . . arm chub.
And here we are, standing in line to get our tickets scanned, at 6:40, with me guiding us to an upper corner where I don't feel as exposed. We have 15 minutes on our mats to people watch and relax.
And that's when I start scanning the crowd for bodies like mine. Representation, ya'll.
There were the super tiny thin people everywhere, of course. Good on them. But there were enough thick girls in sight to help me let go of some of this anxiety. That and the blazing Colorado sun got me to edge out of my jacket pretty quickly.
And, honestly, look at these surroundings.
If that can't remind you of what's important and what's not, then what on earth can?
So we have the owner of The River Power Vinyasa, the studio running the June Saturday events, introducing her studio and the guides on stage, and which person to watch for modifications (that would be my girl) . . .
And then she introduces our instructor for the day.
Kady Lafferty.
That's Kady in white.
That's MY body type!
Whaaaaa?
Yes, in our random selection of just a Saturday we didn't have anything on our calendars, we chose Kady's practice.
Kady, founder of Big Booty Yoga. BIG BOOTY YOGA.
How awesome is that?
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