Getting on

This is how Faith and I sleep a lot. Weird perspective, but that's my hand scooped around her back and that's my face she's laying on. As it turns out, she doesn't seem particularly bothered by tears and I've looked like this quite a lot over the past 5 days.

So Sam dragged me out of the house for the first time last night, to attend Paint Nite (for free, thank you Ric). We drove downtown to the upstairs of Rio Grande, where they still haven't undecorated.

We were painting Snow Bunnies.

(Ric's Sample)

I never looked at Sam's work in process, while she sat across the table from me. When we were nearly done, me quite proud of my adorable snow bunny, I then saw hers. This is why you never try to compete with an Art major. The depth and shadows and expressions and that tree? She had hurridly tried to add a second bunny in the last minute and he came out quite ominous, so we christened him Death Bunny and decided that's why the big guy looks so worried. 

After we got home, Ric had posted a number of photos he'd taken while we worked. Look at how much she changed while working. I was doing good to get each piece painted once!

Afterward, we went to her favorite restaurant that I'd never been to, Thai Basil and the new environment was surprisingly calming. I'd made it the whole day without crying. 

On the way out, they have a large bowl of fortune cookies for partakers. I grabbed two, let Sam choose from my hand, and opened my own. 

And on the back, instead of the usual "Cookie" or "Houseplant"?

This morning, I set my alarm and made myself get out of bed. It's been two weeks since a walk. It was time. And the morning color didn't disappoint.

Taking in the amazing brush strokes of color, breathing in the cold air, feeling the wind on my face, hearing the crunch of snow underfoot at the dog park, watching Evan excitedly bouncing around, I was truly grateful. Proximity to death brings with it a corresponding proximity to life. Thank you, Tim O'Brien.

And back at home, as I pulled the photos off my phone to share here, there were all the last photos of Katy. Do I take them off or leave them on the phone? And as I decided to keep just a couple and move the rest to the computer, I spotted this, which I hadn't noticed before. Katy is curled up after her very last chase of the ball with Evan, prize nearby. But behind her, the little black blocks that spelled BELIEVE had been knocked around thanks to puppy tails over the holidays. 

All that's left to do. 

谢谢你