Sunday, October 3, 2010

20

When Bob was visiting the campus of SHSU this summer with Nick and Jessie, he sent me the above from his phone. For us, this gazebo is one of those sacred spaces that teleports us back across time.

This past week marks the 20th year since we met. October 3 was the culmination of only a handful of whirlwind days. It was Wednesday night and we were in a conversation of circles. My mind was in complete disarray and I recall mostly just sitting in the park in silence, shaking my head at the insanity of how I felt about Bob, whom a week ago I did not know.

We'd wandered along the path and I was saying I should head home as we sat in the gazebo, when Bob, who was leaving at the end of the semester for Ft. Knox and destinations unknown, decides to end our conversation with this, "If I'm being completely honest, I don't know what's going to happen. But what I want, more than anything, is to complete this training at Knox and come back here and marry you."

(cue crickets)

Twenty years ago, the first thought to race through my head was, "I am going to wake up any minute now." The second was this terrifying realization that I knew that was exactly what was going to happen. The the third? Everyone is going to think we are COMPLETELY crazy.

I didn't answer him at the time. In fact, now that I reflect back on it, I don't recall if anything else was even said. There are mostly moments in your life that only later you look back on and see the momentous turn your life took. But there are those few that, even in the minute they are happening, you see your whole life flash before you and know nothing will ever be the same. I think silence may the the only respectful way to deal with those.

But twenty years later, I still haven't woken up, that's exactly what happened, and everyone still thinks we are completely crazy.

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