Tuesday, January 10, 2012

1-10-12 morning wake-ups

This was the good part of the morning.

The bad part came before that, so at least we got that out of the way first thing.

Dear Tori,

While we appreciate your intelligence and passion in many aspects of our life, it has come to our attention this morning that you do tend toward an alarming idiocy when it comes to us in particular. Please be advised that sipping on a bottle of water or two throughout the day when you ask us to expend and micro-tear ourselves in ways we are unaccustomed each morning is neither sufficient nor advisable. It has further come to our attention that not only have you have neglected to take your multi-vitamin so that it would appear you think the bottle reads "One A Week" but you are also woefully and regularly under-achieving on your daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Add to this your decision last night to imbibe the Outback 'Rita Trio, whose pomegranate and mango flavors do not count as fruit intake, because you blithely expected us to just "burn it off" this morning and, regrettably, we have no recourse but to demonstrate, quite violently (as you don't hear us otherwise) the results of your negligence. If you would prefer not to endure another demonstration of our power, make fast friends with those bananas and other fresh fruits in your kitchen, your daily multivitamin, and gallons of water each and every day. While we regret the pain we were forced to cause you this morning, it appears you might heed our needs more attentively from this point forward.

All the best,
Your Muscles.


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