4-12-11

Yes, this is where life is right now.

Like my new throne? They've got them at Walgreens for something ridiculous like $75.00. This one arrived from Amazon for $35, exactly the same product, and free shipping. Wow. Walgreens is counting on people to need that raised toilet seat RIGHT NOW.

My flowers are doing well and making me smile more everyday. Plus I've got these rockin' sock monkey slippers to keep my poor cold feet warmer until I can get some circulation back.

I finally hit a wall on the sleep issue at 12:30 today and was unconscious and unmoved for two straight hours. No dreams, no nightmares, nothing. When I woke up I couldn't feel my feet and reached for the bed buttons to try and raise my head, as if I'd just woken up from surgery. I was having a bit of trouble swallowing since I'd gone so long without moving, but that worked itself out pretty quickly with the water bottle beside me. The blood count thing is seriously kicking my butt. I can't wait to get it built back up so I can have some energy again for more than a half hour at a time.

I had called the urologist's office when they opened to try and set a time per my discharge orders to get this catheter out and gotten told they had nothing available without getting an override from the nurse, so they'd have to call me back, within a couple of hours. That was at 9:00 this morning. At 3:30 I called back and explained everything again -- no, I wasn't his regular patient, yes, I had to get in soon since this catheter issue isn't one you can just say, "oh, well, first available will be fine...." It was like the morning conversation hadn't ever happened. This time I got put through to the nurse's voicemail where I pleaded my case and she had called me back and set me up for this Friday at 3:30 to do the very ominous sounding "Void Test." It would appear they are going to have to prime the pipes by sending water through the cath into the bladder, remove the cath, and see if my body can snap to it and begin to urinate on its own while I'm there in the office. If I can't, it's going to have to be a re-cath, which is not something I even want to consider having to do awake and without being able to use any abdominal muscles while there's already a stint in place that needs to be undisturbed.

If ever I needed to ace a test, this will be the one.

Dr. Watt called about 5:45 with the news that the extended pathology results were back and nothing, not the masses or the uterine walls nor the cervix had a trace of cancer in them. All the bits together weighed over a pound and were "considerably large." I see her again next Thursday for the two-week follow up.

Dad made a wonderful pot roast with potatoes, carrots, and peas and there was angel food cake with strawberries for dessert. Throughout the day Mom brought me a small watermelon, some grapes and strawberries, all manner of juices including the nasty medicine 100% unsweetened cranberry juice, Activia yogurt, turkey, avocado, kalamata olives, cherry tomatoes. I am spoiled rotten and hoping all the good foods will aid in the hematacrit numbers increasing by the time I see Dr. Watt again.

That's pretty much the day -- toilets and catheters, eating and sleeping, playing on the computer, watching a movie with mom and Sammi, petting on Evan, and calling it a night. It's not terribly exciting, but it feels like healing.