Sunday, April 3, 2011

4-3-11 the rest of yesterday

Last night I had just enough energy to cover the garage sale.

But also on yesterday's docket was the arrival of the Sears-dispatched repairman between 1:00 and 5:00, who was summoned after I put in a request with our home warranty company to come and fix the oven. I did this with much trepidation, since the odds were not good that this was going to save me a dime.

Technically, it is the oven door, you know the easy part of an oven to fix, not some difficult heating element repair that necessitates taking the thing apart or moving a heavy appliance. So of course, as I feared, THIS wasn't covered under our home warranty. Because it was the handle. Not the oven. Now, I work with warranty. I get the whole idea that the pretty niceties of a car like the interior trim aren't going to be covered as long or as well as the big heavy expensive drive train. But I would like someone to explain to me how a handless oven is supposed to operate without inflicting severe injury on the idiot who tries to pry a door insulated against 350° open without any leverage.

The way the calls works is, you're committing to paying your tech $60 for just showing up at your house. Then he inspects the complaint, calls the warranty company to explain what the defect is and find out whether it's (not) going to be covered. I have some experience with what the tech has to do after they get the regular answer, "nope, not covered." They find a way to try and get out of your house with the excuse there's something in the truck, so that the warranty guy can phone you first to tell you the bad news. Then the tech reappears with an estimate of how much this repair, that you just shelled out $60 bucks to basically get the "yep, it's broke" review, is going to cost you.

The downstairs toilet started leaking around the base a couple of years ago and we called them out. The stone floor that had been installed at some point (presumably when the house was built as an upgrade, but who knows) and it sits just slightly higher than regular flooring materials. The flange the plumbers installed (also probably during the original build) didn't hold its seal because of the difference in height. So that falls under the "not our problem" clause of the warranty company since it was an install problem. $300 later, the toilet doesn't leak.

When the water heater broke, they weren't able to find a way to make that not the appliance's defect, but they did weasel out of the requirements to install the expansion tank that is required by Colorado building code ($150) and the haul away charge to dispose of the old tank. Because, you know, you really want to have to deal with hauling an extra leaking water heater out of your basement and into a truck you don't own to dispose of it who knows where for another amount of money ($100). So with the $60 "yep, it's broke" portion, the heater only ran us $310 back in February, the same week as we got our tax return filed with a refund of, yep, just about that amount. Who needs to pay down other bills?

So it makes complete sense that the day of a garage sale with a modest profit of $200, it is only going to cost us $160 to fix the oven handle in the house so some picky looker doesn't decide not to make an offer on the home in the first place.

But, the upside in all of this is that I've been saying I really needed to get the warranty company to send out someone to look at the dishwasher, but I've been dragging my heels because I didn't want to pay another $60 just to find out it wasn't covered either and I was mainly just washing the dishes by hand and them running through the washer as backup. The tech that was sent out by Sears (but a third party company) took one look at it (all our appliances are Maytag) and said, "have you called in for any kind of repairs on this dishwasher?" in a tone that made you take notice. Honestly, the repair guys usually are zoned in on their one appliance. Turns out we have one of the models that had a safety recall issued on it last year, even though we never received  a letter or any contact from Maytag, because of a serious fire hazard in the heating element. He said he had to change out the heating element immediately, without leaving the property, because if he didn't he and Sears could be held liable for damages.

Well, then.

Maytag has basically gone bankrupt and been absorbed by competitors thanks to this debacle, which is why the oven handle is more expensive, since we're dealing with dwindling after-market part supplies. So while we're on the hook for that, we got out of paying another $60 for the washer visit and got that appliance fixed for the same fee.

It also turns out that last year most dishwashing detergent companies quietly complied with the mandate from a number of states that they remove phosphates from their detergent formulas because of the rise in phosphate related algae problems in some rivers, 98% of which are caused by industrial issues and water treatment plants instead of dishwashing products. Makes a ton of sense, right?

And instead of finding an alternative to the phosphates, almost every company just removed them and didn't say a word. So if you've been noticing less clean glasses over the past year, there's your answer. It's not your dishwasher. Ok, in my case it was my dishwasher AND my detergent, but a new heating element wasn't the whole story.

By the way, the ban doesn't include restaurant detergents, so if you can order your stuff through a restaurant supply house, you can pollute your own water with phosphates just like all the restaurants still do every night. Should we discuss the new reality that people are now using more hot water and energy (in the form of fossil fuels) to compensate for the removal of this tiny percentage of phosphates? Nah, why bother.

After two cycles using an entire gallon of vinegar, which even I could smell and get offended by, and buying the tech's recommended product (Finish tablets) it would appear we have a fully functioning, actual cleaning machine again in the kitchen.

And next Saturday while I'm in the hospital, the oven door handle will have arrived and be replaced.

All for the low, low price of $160 . . . and the $50 a month we pay for this almost useless home warranty coverage.

After doing the week's shopping, which included finding patches for my robe that will travel with me to the hospital, and getting exciting products like soup, crackers, prune juice, and applesauce for those scintillating meals post-op, we got home to collapse. Bob repaired my robe and put the patches on for me while we watched The Prestige, one of my all-time favorite films, and I indulged in homemade guacamole. I am trying to use these last few days before surgery to just enjoy life and treat myself before the arduous journey of recovery, or of a worse diagnosis, or of just not waking up at all. (Cue the violins, right?)

I curl into bed early and wake a few hours later to see lights on. I blearily emerge to hear that we've been visited by three county deputies at our door, asking to talk to my son. The neighbors who tend to hang out in their garage late into the weekend nights called them when they witnessed three "big guys" in a red truck vandalizing Nick's car. They didn't smash windows. They just wrote obscenities across it, lubed the front hood with a product not easily washed off, and then urinated on it. It was the peeing that brought the neighbors out of the garage to yell at them and call the authorities, at which point they took off.

Now, you want to tp my house, ding dong ditch us, or silly string Nick's car, that's just part and parcel of the game. This is not. And boys, if I catch you on my property again, you might get a warning shot.


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