Wednesday, April 6, 2011

4-6-11 twas the night before squishylessness

Ok, so it's the night before S-day and I'm having moments that go back and forth between these three thoughts:

1. Wait, do we really have to do this? How about we just call it off?

2. I can't WAIT to have this done and OVER! Is it tomorrow already?

3. What if?

The anesthesiologist said we'd be doing an epidural which would cut down on the amount of general anesthesia required and they could manage my pain intravenously through that as well for the first day. The downside is it will delay the ability for me to get up and walk until later in the evening since I will have to get the feeling back in the legs first.

I've done an epi with Sammi's C-section, and then they couldn't really give me anything to relax before getting needle in the back when I was in labor, so this time should be less painful. He said something along the lines of "most patients feel like they are just dozing through the surgery" and I assume this is in comparison to those without an epidural who have to be knocked into oblivion with general anesthetic. Maybe I can mumble a reminder to Dr. Watt to take pictures this way.

I remember being put under when I was 12 and having to have my left arm reset from its horribly broken sideways position, just groggy enough to correct the nurse who was fiddling with my perfectly straight right arm, "no, it's my LEFT arm" (she was working with the IV). Yes, even at 12 I felt entitled to direct the proceedings and make sure no one was slacking.

But mostly this evening I'm just vacillating between being terrified and angry that I'm terrified.





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