Tuesday, August 16, 2011

8-16-11 letting go

Counting down to the big move, and we're in that strange place where we're just marking time, that uneasily peaceful center of the storm kind of feeling. It doesn't help that Nick has been displaced by Sammi's taking over the basement. Or, maybe it does help. He's upstairs with me when he's home, and even if he's kicking back in his room, I can see him, hear him, smile at him when he heads for the kitchen several times during the day.

People keep asking me how I'm handling this upcoming "loss" and perhaps I'm largely in denial, but while it makes me wistful for the days I was chasing around my little guy, I haven't hit that wall of "I'm losing my baby!" kind of response that so many other moms seem to be experiencing. I guess I feel like I've been loosening those ties for a long time, letting him sail, pulling him back less and less. This is what we've been training him for his whole life. How can I not be excited that my little boy has grown into a wonderful man who is ready to tackle much of life on his own now?

The heartbreak of his senior year is over. The reality that he will have to climb a higher mountain to realize some of his dreams because of the way he was treated last year is still a hard one, but one we have come to accept as part of the journey that Nick is destined to travel. I keep telling him it'll make an unbelievable chapter in his biography someday. And if that mountain turns out to be the wrong path, I am confident the new one will be even brighter.

Climb on, my boy.


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